tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-983506590114083331.post474907362190348239..comments2023-10-29T04:36:18.178-06:00Comments on Sugar & Spice: Feeling GuiltyUnknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger12125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-983506590114083331.post-45002457657807407682008-01-16T19:41:00.000-06:002008-01-16T19:41:00.000-06:00I have felt that way after every child. I have fo...I have felt that way after every child. I have found that just trusting the spirit has always been key. I never feel ready to have kids when I have them, but once I am pregnant I never regret doing it. I stress about everything so much that I could talk myself out of anything, so I just have to let the spirit guide my actions and trust that Heavenly Father knows what I am capible of.Chantelhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15552111855123748320noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-983506590114083331.post-89724641070491714722008-01-16T19:14:00.000-06:002008-01-16T19:14:00.000-06:00First - you should never worry about when to have ...First - you should never worry about when to have another baby when you have a small baby. You're not thinking clearly.<BR/><BR/>Second - Your value does not increase per child.<BR/><BR/>Third - We live in a way different world than our parents did. I think LDS families, as a trend, are becoming smaller because of the financial, moral and spiritual nurturing required these days.<BR/><BR/>There are way too many things to feel guilty about in life. Don't let this be one of them.Jonihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18109855683749612076noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-983506590114083331.post-49389920484788897902008-01-16T17:02:00.000-06:002008-01-16T17:02:00.000-06:00This sounds too familiar. The other day my husband...This sounds too familiar. The other day my husband told me we needed to get maternity added to our insurance in just FIVE months so that we could have baby #2 when Spencer is 2 1/2.<BR/><BR/>All the while I'm thinking, "Why not just stick with what we have right now."Skipperhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03791080837502141128noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-983506590114083331.post-72451629671363903342008-01-16T10:05:00.000-06:002008-01-16T10:05:00.000-06:00Well said, Stephanie!Well said, Stephanie!Aubreydollhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14196419636764001942noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-983506590114083331.post-47656454506471977162008-01-16T07:41:00.000-06:002008-01-16T07:41:00.000-06:00I personally think it's important to follow your h...I personally think it's important to follow your heart, and the Spirit, like Linz said and not some exact plan that you had when you were married. I used to have an exact number when pple asked how many kids I wanted. But now the most important thing to me is the kind of mom I am. If I happen to have a child with special needs that needs a lot of my time, or I find that I am really stressed out after having 2 or 3 kids, then I'm not necessarily going to just keep popping out kids until I reach my magic number! I want to be a good, attentive, and cheerful mom. That's more important to me than reaching a certain number. So in other words, I'm taking it one child at a time.<BR/><BR/>That being said, I think you should just sit back and relax. And since you obviously love being a mom, I think you will feel differently when the time is right!Stephaniehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18210672751020722733noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-983506590114083331.post-80835843833179921392008-01-15T22:38:00.000-06:002008-01-15T22:38:00.000-06:00Amen, sistahs! I totally went through those emoti...Amen, sistahs! I totally went through those emotions. We always said 3-5 kids (there were 3 kids in my fam, and 5 in my husband's), and after #2 was born, I was feeling seriously content. I knew I had at least one more in me, but I had no desire to rush it. My husband (ironically, since he wants more kids than me to begin with), actually was more hesitant to rush into a third (because he's going back to school). However, I think everyone has already summed it up: don't rush it, ignore timelines and vacations (even though it's tempting to squeeze in free flights for the under 2 crowd), and just go with the Spirit. Mickey Mouse isn't going anywhere!Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08043499163482775271noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-983506590114083331.post-69083555889841546022008-01-15T20:45:00.001-06:002008-01-15T20:45:00.001-06:00P.S. Thanks for being so open and honest!P.S. Thanks for being so open and honest!Linzhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14897786203729793107noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-983506590114083331.post-66058037574981394742008-01-15T20:45:00.000-06:002008-01-15T20:45:00.000-06:00I think you should choose to try to get pregnant w...I think you should choose to try to get pregnant when the Spirit tells you it's right. I don't think it should be mathematical or based on a pressure outside of you.Linzhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14897786203729793107noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-983506590114083331.post-63627359165608635772008-01-15T20:30:00.000-06:002008-01-15T20:30:00.000-06:00I just have to second (or, I guess, third!) what's...I just have to second (or, I guess, third!) what's been said here. Before we had our little one I wanted 6 kids, and I wanted them to be 2 years apart. Then, after we had Bauer, I wanted 4 kids, 3 years apart. Then, as Bauer got older and became more and more (and I'm talking more!) energetic, I've had many days where I've thought, "Hmm, maybe one wouldn't be that bad after all."<BR/><BR/>But, I know that's not really what I want and that it's just because he's young. When he's older it won't be so crazy all the time.<BR/><BR/>So, that being said, he's now almost two and a half and we are trying for number two, but we're both terrified! I was so impatient to get pregnant the first time around, but now I don't mind if it takes a while!<BR/><BR/>I just keep looking at mine and my husband's family now that all the kids are grown up and how much fun we all have together and I just try to remember that when I'm having an only-one-kid day!Aubreydollhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14196419636764001942noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-983506590114083331.post-76430914213154276472008-01-15T20:24:00.000-06:002008-01-15T20:24:00.000-06:00TOTALLY NORMAL...or else I need to be committed.TOTALLY NORMAL...or else I need to be committed.Kagehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00230783469109672874noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-983506590114083331.post-80702178711792391362008-01-15T20:16:00.000-06:002008-01-15T20:16:00.000-06:00I just want to echo what liz&meg said. I think I w...I just want to echo what liz&meg said. I think I went through a VERY similar thing that you went through Claire. When we got married we wanted 6-7 kids. Then after I had MM I didn't want anymore. I love MM so much! I've had some pretty crazy thoughts justifying having only one child... I don't want to cheat her of having time to be our only.. as well as thoughts like Liz&meg said. It made me feel horrible and I would cry to Michael that he made a mistake of marrying me since I know he wants a big family and I was feeling very much like I only wanted one or two. He of course always says that whatever I want goes. But I felt absolutely horrible and that he should get a new wife. I was very against having more kids.<BR/><BR/>HOWEVER. About a month ago I have been thinking, talking and dreaming baby. (when MM was 13 months). As soon as I stop nursing MM it's off to the bedroom :) (ok, too much info, I'm sure). But I really want another child and I'm back to wanting a big family. I also had some sense knocked into me when I realized that I have only wanted one child now, but what about 5, 10 years down the road. In short, Heavenly Father definitely has been preparing me! But what you're going through is completely normal. Heavenly Father will help you along, and if you are supposed to have more, He'll let you know and He'll help you accept it :)Jen Lhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01294119389013592501noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-983506590114083331.post-15833465642382527092008-01-15T19:32:00.000-06:002008-01-15T19:32:00.000-06:00When our little one was that age, I went through a...When our little one was that age, I went through a phase where I thought I would be so happy with just her. I also have had the horrible thoughts-what if I can't love another child as much? what if they're not as cute as she is? what if our next one doesn't sleep like she does? But I also knew that obviously my heart would just get bigger with each baby. (and that I'd always think my own kids were cute-even if they don't sleep! :) <BR/><BR/>I went through a very content phase and I don't think there's anything wrong with feeling that way. I think it's very important to enjoy to the fullest each stage of yours and their life that you're in. I was very happy with just our little baby and the sweet wonderful thing she is and then I also knew very distinctly when it was time for us to take the next step.Lizhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08449505179957576068noreply@blogger.com