Wednesday, September 2, 2009
Balance
After three years of having a child, I really thought I had this down, especially when I only have one! But lately my daughter has been especially demanding of my time. I attribute it to the fact that she has no siblings for playmates (trust me, I wish that weren't the case.) But maybe that's not it. Anyway, she used to be pretty good at playing independently while I got things done around the house. Lately she wants me playing with her CONSTANTLY. If she's in her room, I have to be with her. She'll come find me in the kitchen and drag me by the hand. Just now we were outside and I thought I'd browse through the Ensign right next to her playhouse, and she pitched the world's largest tantrum because she wanted me INSIDE the playhouse. She literally threw my magazine across the yard. On the way into the house for a timeout, I struggled with myself, wondering if I was being selfish by wanting to read the Ensign instead of playing with her. But I do play with her. I make sure to set aside time every day that we play dolls together, board games, etc. However, I have to get things done around the house too, and I think it's good for her to be able to entertain herself a little bit. How do I accomplish this? Get things done, yet play with her enough, while not giving into her too much. Am I being selfish, or is my daughter turning into a spoiled "queen of the house?" Any tips to finding the balance?
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4 comments:
I expect my kids to work along side of me, to the extent that it is possible. When they get board or get their fill of doing my stuff, then they run off to play. Every situation is different, but perhaps it's time to include her in your tasks? I have three close in age (ages 3, 2, 1) and they pretty much have to be closely watched for their own safety. I don't really get "me" time during the day, but giving them jobs to do, helps us all to get things done. I also have age-appropriate "projects" (borrowed from Montessori) for them to engage in when I need to unload the dishwasher and don't necessarily need their wonderful assistance...brainstorm and maybe you can channel your little one's energy. Sounds like she wants to be doing what you are doing and vice versa. In my experience, that is pretty normal during this stage of life.
My 3 year old is not great at independent play either. Sometimes she'll color near me while I cook so that we can talk and stuff but we're doing our own thing. Sometimes when I just really want to do what I want to do, I tell her that I need some "mommy time". She's never fought that. But of course she asks if I will join her when I am done.
This is a tough situation. I know our family has had barely any like activities that always happen on Wednesday, Thursday, etc. this summer, and I look forward to the Fall when that is less the case. It will be fun for you to do pre-school again and stuff.
My kids are 5, 3, and 1. At the risk of sounding trite: she's just being 3. You're doing an amazing job spending so much time with her already. No child will be spoiled by having "too much" Mommy time. You're just her world, and she loves it that way. I completely agree with Jocelyn's and Linz's suggestions. You're doing everything right! Just wait it out, and this phase will pass.
I have 4 kids and the thought occurred to me that perhaps she needs some playmates. Maybe set up some playdates with children in her primary class. Then you can do your thing and she will have someone to interact with and is her age. Good luck! There is never a dull moment in family life!
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