Time Out for Women: Hope

Have any of you been to a Time Out for Women?

They're put on by Deseret Book and it's like EFY or Youth Conference for Mom's. I have wanted to go to one for a while and missed several opportunities, so when it came to a town three hours away, my sister in law and I packed up and had a girl's weekend!! It was wonderful and I highly recommend it!

I wanted to share one of the talks that really struck a chord with me. I have been really struggling with patient parenting with my four year old. I went to this conference with a prayer that I would hear something that would help me. It came from the speaker who I didn't expect or know anything about and is now my favorite!! Read more about Emily Watts here.

She spoke about "mother hopes". First, she joked about the things we should just give up hope on right now!!

1. sleeping through the night ever again!

2. being in charge!

3. having something nice of your own that the kids won't destroy!

Then she spoke of the "mother hopes" that she hoped we would never give up on:

1. The hope that your children can progress. That one day, they will learn, grow and improve. The years fly by even if the days don't.

2. The hope that this work that we are engaged in is WORTH it! She encouraged us to have faith not just in the doctrine of motherhood but that it applies to ME!

3. The hope that someone who is smarter than you and a better parent than you is ready to help right now! Heavenly Father's help comes just in time! He knows how to parent perfectly!

I was so touched by her humor and her devotion to motherhood that I just wanted to share with you the thoughts that have given me a bit more hope lately.

Chores for Toddlers

I've been browsing the Simple Mom site and borrowing some of her ideas for simplifying and organizing my life. One of the things I read about on there is chore charts for toddlers. I've been thinking about this for a few months now... Cecelia is almost three and I definitely feel as though she is old enough to start doing some chores. I want to do what Simple Mom does and give her a sticker on a sticker chart for doing them and at the end of each week she gets a nickle for each sticker. Then she can set aside 10% for tithing, 10% for saving and the rest can go in a jar for spending.

My problem is, I can't come up with a list of chores for her!! I want them to be things that she can do somewhat independently, for example, picking up her toys before nap time and before bedtime each day. I also am planning to include helping me empty the dishwasher and feeding the fish. I will have to help her with those things a little bit- more like, she'll be helping me, but I want her to begin to learn responsibility for animals and I'd also like her to be learning to help with chores that benefit the whole family.

So help me out! Do you have ideas for other chores that a three year old would be capable of doing?

Separation Anxiety

How do you deal with your little ones having separation anxiety? I love that I get to spend every day with my 15 month old, but it makes it difficult when we are apart. He does fine without me at grandmas' houses and even with the occasional sitter in our home, however he does not do well in other situations. My husband and I have gym memberships through his work and our gym has a little child care center where children can go while you work out. I figured this would be a good experience for my son to play with other children and have time away from me, but unfortunately it hasn't turned out that way. The caregivers usually either come to get me after 10-15 minutes because he won't stop crying or they just keep him there with tears rolling down his cheeks. I've tried a few different attempts to the actual 'separation' aspect. I've tried handing him over quickly and leaving immediately, and I've also tried playing with him for a few minutes to get him adjusted to the new environment. Neither attempt has seemed to work, and of course he is too young to understand that I will be coming back. I feel terrible even bringing him, and yet I want him to acclimate to these types of situations since nursery is drawing nearer and nearer...

So, my question is, should I start bringing him consistently and hope that he will just adjust (and endure the heartbreak of knowing he is sobbing the entire time I'm away) or just wait until he gets older (and risk that it will just keep getting harder and also not allow myself to have some unattached time)? What has worked for you?

Awesome Parenting {and life!} Motto

I've recently started doing a little freelance writing for a parenting site, and as I was reading through some of the posts by other writers I came across this piece of advice, which the author said was some of the best parenting advice she ever received...

If something will matter 1 month from now, feel free to get upset about it. Otherwise, try laughing.

As I read it, I decided this is a piece of advice I want to take to heart. I tend to get pretty caught up in keeping my daughter's clothes stain free, or wanting to keep my home and life so organized that I find myself getting stressed over things that aren't important, that a month from now, I won't even remember. So I'm adopting this as my new motto and thought it was definitely worth sharing. Its probably not a new idea to a lot of you, but it was a light bulb moment for me!

Pooping in the potty

I know that pooping is the harder part of potty training for most kids.  However, not for mine.  She's done great with pooping in her potty up until recently.  

Here's where it gets gross!

Her poop has totally changed consistency!  She has always been a soft pooper but solid enough to make potty training go fine.  But it's turned to absolute mush!  Let me tell you, diarrhea does not help potty training!!!!

Only a few things have changed in her diet but nothing big to make me think it would turn poop to diarrhea every single day!  She's eating a lot more peanut butter honey sandwiches and less milk lately.  She's also been wanting chocolate milk rather than plain milk.  I've eliminated a lot of fruit hoping that will help but it doesn't make sense to me that PBH sandwiches would do this.  

Any suggestions?  sorry for the details! 

Early Bird

As a continuation of the sleeping discussion, do any of you have early birds? My 10 month old sleeps through the night, is a great napper, and puts himself to sleep with ease, but he typically gets up between 5:30 and 6:00am. At that point he is up for the day until nap time. I would love for him to extend his nights a little longer! He goes to bed at 8pm and we've tried making his bedtime a little later, but he has a hard time staying awake later and it doesn't seem to affect his wake-up time at all. Maybe he is just a natural early bird, but do you have any tricks to get your children to sleep in just a little bit longer?

I need advice!!

UPDATE: Kalli is doing so great! She no longer cries longer than 3-4 minutes if
she wakes up at all! I am so proud of her and myself- for sticking to it and doing it. Thank you all so much for the words of encouragement and your success stories! You ladies rock!

My eight month old daughter has decided in the last month and a half to stop sleeping very well at night. She used to sleep really well, sleep for 6-8 hours, wake up and eat and then sleep for 2-3 more hours. Well now she is back to waking up every 3-4 hours!! I know she doesn't need to nurse that often, but often I will find myself nursing her anyways just to get her back to sleep so I can sleep. So now I fear that this has created a habit with her and I don't know how to break it. So I am thinking of trying the 'cry it out' method, but nervous. I never had to do this with my son, he was always a good sleeper. So do I let her cry, but only for 15 minutes and then go comfort her? Do I let her cry until she is asleep? I had one person tell me this can instill abandonment issues with her. Yikes! I know I am probably over-worrying about this, but would love some insight. What has worked for other people????

Awesome CD Give Away!

If you would like the chance to win this CD (multiple winners)
go here and leave a comment!

This is an awesome new CD with great songs that both you and your kids will love. The tracklist includes: I'm A Believer; Rubber Ducky; Popcorn Popping; Sing, Sing a Song; When I See An Elephant Fly and some really great originals. To hear some samples go here.

Meetup.com

I met a gal at a park the other day who told me about this neat website called Meetup.com. You type in your zip code and all these groups show up wherein you can find others with similar interests in your area. She used the site to find a Mommy and Me group that meets together several times a week at parks, malls, people's houses, etc. in our hometown. The group has its own guidelines that make it safe and organized, and there are already like 45 moms who joined it. Pretty cool, huh? I ended up joining it too and it's sounds really fun! Anyway, I just thought I'd mention it for anyone who is interested in looking around their own area for opportunities to meet some friends of different faiths. Even though I love my cozy LDS network, it's also nice to talk to other people in my community and maybe even have an opportunity to share the gospel. Hopefully this will be a good way to do just that!

P.S. It's been awhile since I've posted (and I've missed you all!) and I just want to say I LOVE the new template! SO so cute.

P.P.S. In case you don't remember me, I used to be "tagteamo3." But now, due to my husband getting his own gmail account, I am just Lisa. :)

Cow's Milk

My daughter is 17 months old and still nursing. I am totally ok with this, as I'm not quite ready to give up nursing yet, but I am concerned about the fact that she won't drink cow's milk. Whenever I hand her a cup of cow's milk, she takes a sip, then hands the cup back to me and "asks" for something else to drink... I know she needs the calcium, and up to this point I haven't wanted to fight her on the issue, but seeing as she is nursing less and less, and I know we'll be weaning in the next few months, I'd really like to get her drinking milk. I've tried giving her chocolate milk (something I'd rather she didn't drink often, but I wanted to see if that would work) and she didn't like it. I have also tried giving her milk over ice, since she loves all other drinks ice cold. She drank a few sips more this way, but still hardly drank any.

What suggestions do you girls have??

Frustrating feeding

My 6 month old is refusing to eat baby food. I read through the posts in the parenting section about it and got some great ideas, thanks everyone. I'll try my best to persevere, it's just so frustrating when he'll turn his head or spit out the food. I'm wondering though, do you think it would be okay to give him soft cut up foods like sweet potatoes, reg. potatoes, carrots or some other food? He has two front bottom teeth, not that he knows how to use them yet. I may get one of those net pacifier things that food can be put into so he can chew and get the juice. I'm also thinking about starting with baby puffs. Can he eat crackers or teething biscuits yet? I have a toddler but he was such a good eater, he didn't put up a fight at anything.

Instilling Self Esteem

I have always had low self-esteem for as long as I can remember.  When I was a little girl, I was always the "I can't girl".  I know a lot of the roots of my own self-esteem problems, but now that I'm raising my own little girl, it's been on my mind a lot.

When I scold her, I worry that it's breaking her little spirit.  When I boost her up, I worry that I could push too far in the other direction too.  How do you build self esteem without turning your kid into a boastful, prideful thing?  How do you teach humility without making them feel scolded? How do you do you strike a balance?  I would love for my children to grow up with strong, healthy spirits and not have the same doubts that I was always plagued with.  The world is hard enough as it is and getting tougher to live in with high standards and I want my children to be armed with all the confidence necessary to stand up for what's right.   

Have you found good resources?  Are there books I should read? Am I the only one that worries about this? 

Potty Training Help For a Friend of Mine

A friend of mine (Amanda Ball, for those of you from MSU) is looking for some help potty training... I told her I'd post her note on here, in hopes that you girls will have some advice for her.

Amanda wrote...
I've been forced - yes forced - into potty training my recently turned 2 year old son. He's decided that he doesn't like to wear diapers after he's "gone" in them and my baby girl has decided they are fun toys. I'm sure you can imagine what sorts of things have happened with that. So I would like to know what sorts of things worked when you potty trained your kid, or kids. Any and all advice is welcome!

Preparing #1 for #2

 I'm 27 weeks pregnant as of yesterday.  My little girl is 27 months old.  When I got pregnant, I didn't worry too much about her adjusting to the new sibling.  She's a pretty easy going kid.  Those sentiments are changing.  I'm starting to worry as the day creeps closer. We recently moved and I cut back my working with our move.  These changes-my being around more and her whole world being turned upside down has made for major clinginess!  She only wants me and if we can convince her that Dad is okay to help, I still have to be RIGHT there!  

At the same time, I'm trying to enjoy this stage and give her tons of one-on-one attention right now while I can.  She's funny and busy and sooo talkative and inquisitive and I'm loving this age. We were outside blowing bubbles on Friday and I just marveled at her personality and knowledge and spunk but also felt bad knowing that those easy moments would be harder to come by in the future. 

I know there are lots of us in this phase.  We've had and are having a lot of babies born lately on S&S!  What did you do to prepare your first child, if anything?  What have you learned?  What do you plan to do?  Am I paranoid or will she do just fine?

Babysitting

We usually trade babysitting but we are going to venture out and pay one of the YW (trying to raise money for EFY) to watch Eden for a couple of hours this weekend. What is the going rate these days?

The More Depressing Side of Preparedness

Not to bring up a totally depressing subject, but because its such an important one... I was wondering what plans you girls have set in place in case anything were to happen to you and your husband? This is SO something I don't like to think about, but at the same time, I hate to think what would happen to Cecelia if something did happen to Scott and I and we hadn't made our wishes known.

Right now we are in the process of setting up a trust. In my research on the topic, a trust seems a better option than a will as it takes less processing time and doesn't involve as many legal fees. Obviously, our trust will be constantly changing as we have more children and such, but as of right now, if anything were to happen to us, Cecelia would be placed in the care of my sister Kayti and her husband. We are also setting it up so that whoever was caring for Cecelia would get a certain allowance of money from our life insurance policies each month to help provide for Cecelia's needs, but that the bulk of the money would not be available to Cecelia until she was in college or married.

So, what do you girls have set up? Is this something you and your husbands talk about?

What would you do?

Let's say you have some friends over and they bring their kids. You have a great time. After they leave you find out that something has been broken (likely by the kids). Do you tell them or suck it up? If you tell them, how?

What are your views on guns?

I very much dislike guns... which makes life interesting as far as Scott's job goes! Scott carrying his weapon at all times has taken quite a bit of getting use to for me. To this day, I have still never held any of his weapons... I know I need to get over my fear of guns, and learn to use them and be safe around them, especially if I want to teach my children gun safety.

I've always planned to not have toys guns in our home as I'm a firm believer that guns are anything but toys. Now though, my thoughts on how to handle guns have changed quite a bit since we have several in our home. From an early age, Cecelia and future children will participate in gun safety courses, they will go out shooting with their dad so they know how to properly use a gun and also so they learn not to be scared of them the way I am!! I want them to learn respect for guns and I want it to be very well understood that they are not to EVER touch the guns in our home without their father around. (FYI- we have a gun safe at our house and one at my in laws. Our gun safe travels with us, and we never leave the gun out in the open, even for a moment)

I'm wondering what your view are on guns? Do you or will you allow your children to play with toy guns? Do you have guns in your homes? What are you/have you taught your children when it comes to guns and gun safety?

Biting Child.

My son is turning into a horrible biter. He used to only bite my husband and me but he has started to bite other people and children included. It is driving me crazy. I have read some different literature on biting and it's not because he is hungry or even angry, which is what they suggest. It is always random. I do not know what to do. I have tried flicking his mouth and putting him in his bed but it is not working. He almost made me bleed from biting me yesterday and I have a bad bruise. I don't know what to do to make this stop! I need help and suggestions. Has anyone been through this before?

Weaning Question

My daughter is 10 1/2 months old and I have just weaned her to formula. Prior to my weaning her she seemed to want less milk (she has been at 4-6 oz feedings for several months). She eats quite a bit of "solids" these days and enjoys drinking water from her sippy cup. Should I be concerned if she drops a bottle or reduces the amount she is getting? Any advice you have is wonderful, I always appreciate hearing your input.