At the same time, I'm trying to enjoy this stage and give her tons of one-on-one attention right now while I can. She's funny and busy and sooo talkative and inquisitive and I'm loving this age. We were outside blowing bubbles on Friday and I just marveled at her personality and knowledge and spunk but also felt bad knowing that those easy moments would be harder to come by in the future.
I know there are lots of us in this phase. We've had and are having a lot of babies born lately on S&S! What did you do to prepare your first child, if anything? What have you learned? What do you plan to do? Am I paranoid or will she do just fine?
8 comments:
We just had our second child and our first child is four and a half, so a little bigger age difference. I was real nervous too, because he was by himself for four and a half years, never sharing the attention. I would say you don't need to stress as much as you are and as much as I did. Kids are so good at adapting. My son has some times when he gets jealous of his sister's attention, but on the whole he is doing great and loves having her here! I would say there will be times where the older one gets jealous and needs some attention, but atleast in my house it is something easily fixed with some special time for them when dad is home!
I have talked to many people about this and I think the age of your first kid doesn't matter so much...it's going to be an adjustment no matter what. My oldest will no longer be an only child as of this weekend at the latest and instead of worrying about it, I've just decided to accept that it's going to be hard for her at first and that we will all need to adjust as we go. I don't know if there is much that can be done to prepare for it. I talk about the baby all the time but it definitely won't sink in until the baby is home. I'll let you know what I learn from the experience!
I completely agree with Linz!!!! It has been awhile since my first child was an only child since I am having #4 on Thursday. But, I do remember that we didn't exactly do anything special to prepare him for a sibling. Like Linz we just talked about the baby a lot, my oldest was only 21 months when his brother was born so, I don't know a whole lot that we could have done that he would have understood. We pretty much did the same thing each time, we talked about the baby and talked about how they were going to be big brothers and stuff like that. I remember before we had our 2nd child I talked about how I felt bad about the adjustment and stuff like that and some told me something that really helped me. They reminded me that our future children would never have that "only" child phase so, I shouldn't feel bad about cutting my first ones phase short. I hope that I am making sense.
I agree with everyone else! I worried like crazy about how my strong-minded #1 would handle a little sibling, and all that worrying was for naught. She was (and is) a great big sister! Every kid has their moments, and siblings just won't get along sometimes, but it's totally normal and nothing to stress over (which I can only say now, after I know for a fact that #1 never even tried to send the baby back to the hospital, which is what I totally expected would happen). :)
I just had my second baby two months ago. My daughter is 2 1/2. I will say it was a big adjustment for her, but there was nothing I could do to prepare her for it. We talked to her a lot about the baby, but in reality I don't think they really understand that their lives are going to change completely. It was a rough couple of months or should I say month, but once she knew he was here to stay she is a great big sister. We had some major discipline problems, but you just have to be patient and realize they are just trying to get attention. Not all kids act out but some do and there isn't anything you can do about it but love them and reassure them that you still love them. One thing that worked for us is my husband kept telling her that they were best friends and she loved that concept and wanted to cling to him instead of trying to get my attention.
I am pregnant with #2 and I am nervous but excited also. I already talk about the baby and we have read big brother books. I am going to buy a couple of books just for fun about new baby and being a brother. I think it helps a little bit. I think it helps to that I babysit my neices because one of them is only 8 months old so he has to let me take care of her and he helps. I think it will help him adjust. But it will still be hard when baby does come. But I plan to just take it one day at a time.
I have four kids, and it's always an adjustment, even for me, of course!! My kids are 9,6,3, and 1. With my oldest we talked about it a lot. We also read the big brother books, and that helped.
My favorite thing after the baby came was when I was nursing the older kids could get books and I would read to them. That way, nursing was a fun time for them instead of a jealous time.
Good luck!! It is truly a joy and a blessing to have your family grow!
I love the nursing time idea! I've heard that's a hard one-when the kids KNOW you can't help them, of course that's when they want attention!
thanks for the support guys! we talk about the baby a lot and she's been to the doctor with me, but I still worry and I'm sure some of that is justified and some of that is just me worrying!!
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