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8 comments:
The best piece of advice I got was just a few weeks ago on the awesome blog Asking Jane (the mom that's raised 8 kids, or something like that), well someone wrote in with questions on how to discipline a toddler (something that's quite hard, as we all know) and her answer was something like, "Of course we can't let them get away with certain behaviors, but after raising so many kids I realized that most things will resolve themselves on their own with time and maturity"...It really hit me! I decided to be a little more relaxed. I don't have to control everything, and if she's being a decently nice littler person, well, good enough for me!
Ok, I had to get it right off her blog- it's so much better in her words. "
The greatest advantage of my age and stage of life, is perspective. I know that most of the things that I worried about with my earlier kids just corrected themselves with time and maturity. I learned to relax and enjoy my children and as a result, they turned out to be sweet and loving. That's really why I write this blog--to tell you the great secret--that you are free to love and enjoy your children without worrying about ruining them. When they sense your constant disapproval, they'll be discouraged. When they feel deeply approved of and accepted, they will thrive. Think about the way your husband treats you and what kind of treatment brings out the best in you. Especially when you are undeserving. It's a universal principle."
AskingJane.blogspot.com
(oh, it's 11 kids! not 8! She's LDS.)
Oh wow I love that! The best advice I've received this year was from my Mom.
My 3 year old daughter loves to touch. She is physically very clingy, doesn't know how to give personal space at all. It really bothered me when she was touching my face when I was nursing the baby or eating my lunch or something. Sometimes it annoyed me so much that I felt the urge to push her away, although I never did. When I mentioned this issue to my Mom she said that someone said to her once to remember that the Savior said, "Come unto me."
This issue has gotten better on its own (kind of like what was mentioned in the comments above!) but the advice gave me a perspective overall of trying harder not to be annoyed by my children at times, but rather just love them to pieces.
Best advice was simple but good. True not to stress about things you can not control.
The one that is coming to mind is a quote I read on my friend Lindsey Tanner's blog, (who is a contributor to this site). It was Iris Krasnow's quote:
"Being There [is] an emotional and spiritual shift, of succumbing to Being Where You Are When You Are, and Being There as much as possible. Its about crouching on the floor and getting delirious over the praying mantis your son just caught instead of perusing a fax or filling the dishwasher while he is yelling for your attention and you distractedly say over your shoulder: 'Oh, honey, isn’t that a pretty bug.' It’s about being attuned enough to notice when your kid’s eyes shine so you can make your eyes shine back.”
It was something I had been thinking about a lot anyway, and now when I am tempted to do housework, etc. instead of doing something with my daughter, I think of that quote. I say to myself, "Will I be able to get delirious over whatever she is doing if I am distracted, or will I be murmuring things over my shouler like "That's nice honey."
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