Tuesday, November 3, 2009
independent activities
Okay, so I absolutely love playing with my girls. They are at such fun ages (3 and 18 months) and they play really well together. BUT, they ALWAYS want me playing with them. It makes it a little difficult to make dinner or do the laundry or shower... So I was wondering what activities your children like to do independently. Thanks!
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My 3 y.o. plays the best independently with her dollhouse or her castle and princess figurines. But I know every child is different as far as what toys they like to play with.
I had this same problem up until two months ago, when I got really sick with this pregnancy. Sadly enough, my daughter has gotten so used to me being sick that she hardly even asks me to play with her anymore. In fact, sometimes when I finally feel decent I have to say, "Do you want Mommy to play with you?" And she gets excited. Hopefully this stage will be over soon, but my point to that was that I think kids just form expectations based on the norm. I used to give in easily to her pleading, because I felt guilty if I wasn't playing with her 24/7. Therefore, she threw a big fit, if I tried to make her play alone. But there's nothing wrong with them being able to play independently for a little while, while you cook dinner or do laundry. So, I think if you start a routine where it's "time for Mommy to make dinner," etc. they'll learn pretty quickly that they have to entertain themselves during that time.
Hope that made sense. At least your girls have each other, and they get along so well. That's a huge blessing! Maybe you can give them suggestions before you leave them in the playroom, like "Why don't you guys play with..."
Cecelia is getting really good at playing independently with several of her favourite toys such as her kitchen set or her Disney figures. One thing that she always enjoys is colouring or drawing. If I set her up with crayons and a colouring book, she'll be happy for a good 30 minutes to an hour. It felt like it took forever to get to this point though... and as mean as it sounds I just had to start telling her "Mommy needs to do x,y or z, so you need to play by yourself for a while". I hated telling her that, but she's finally caught on. One thing that I think helped- we encourage her to play near us. For the first little while as we tried to encourage independent play, I'd say to her "I need to cook dinner, do you want to play with your kitchen set in the kitchen" and I'd drag her toys in the kitchen or dining area so she felt close to me but was still playing by herself. Now she's to the point where she'll go in her room and play for quite some time without needing me around.
My kids are not great at independent play. Movie time is my only freedom really. So I try to do what Claire was saying and when it is time to cook dinner have them play with kitchen stuff. Or I just give them bowl and spoon. Something they can do near me but enjoy enough they don't need me playing right by them. Sometimes we have to remember we are in charge as parents and can say no to playing with them. (I stink at this) but it is true.
My situation is so similar! Wish I could offer up some great advice. All I can say is sometimes I have to kind of announce that "Okay, it's Mommy time for a little bit now." I will go down the hall and do something while they are in earshot.
Thanks ladies. I guess the independent play comes in waves in our house. They will play really well with their food stuff for a couple weeks, then with their dolls, then with drawing. But it just seems I can't find one they want right now. Maybe I will have to rotate their toys again...
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