She is jealous of my eighteen month old.
I am not sure what I did wrong but I'm exasperated!
I hear people talk about how their kids love their new baby siblings and then I am jealous too! My daughter asked me one day when Lucy can go back in my tummy!!!! She takes her toys and shuts her in her room. If Lucy is in my lap, Meg climbs up and tries to push Lucy off and get on my lap. It goes on and on! They of course have their good moments too. Every morning Meg climbs into bed with us and snuggles, just her. She's often up later than Lucy too, and she gets me to herself during quiet time. So I don't think we're neglecting the girl!
I just feel like I missed some key element where my girls know that I love each of them. Equally.
How do you do it?
5 comments:
I'm not really sure how to cure it, but I'm pretty sure its a phase that all kids go through..especially when the younger sibling starts being old enough to really do stuff and be noticed. My younger daughter just turned 14 mo. and my 3 year old is crazy jealous of her. She's not quite to the stage of asking if we can get rid of her, but whenever I do something for the baby, I have to do it for her too. I guess I don't have much advice other than hopefully the phase will end soon! Hopefully someone else out there has something better to suggest... :)
Not sure if I have a jealousy thing going on or aggression but just wanted to tell you that my girls don't get along more than they do get along.
Just had a thought this morning. How does your oldest respond to "feelings" talk. My 3 year old responds to it really well. Like "What are you feeling right now?" "Why are you feeling that way?" etc. It gives her emotions legitimacy and shows her that I care even if her current behavior is undesirable/annoying. I'm sure you've done this, but maybe you could ask some questions like this the next time she wants to push her sis off your lap and remind her how much you love them both but that everyone gets some personal Mommy time and it's her sister's turn right now. Then you could say, "What game are we going to play when your sister goes down for her nap?" or "Would you like to sit on my lap in 10 minutes?" One conversation won't solve it, but several might.
i have been trying to talk more about how choices make us sad or happy. i do also think i need to turn quiet time into more her special time but i have to admit, i'm quite selfish about my quiet time! :)
thanks for the ideas! i will try anyhting!
My son (who's 3 now) is jealous of my 7-month-old too. Just the other day he said he wanted her to go back in my tummy, too! So you are totally not alone. One thing that we found that helps is we go on a "date" together, just him and me. He has always been a total momma's boy, and this has done wonders. We do it on a weeknight, after my husband gets home from work, and he watches the baby (which is like a date night for them, too), and I just go with my older boy for an hour or so to do whatever, just as long as we are together. Last time we went to Barnes and Noble and played with the trains. We go on a date every one to two weeks and it's completely changed his attitude. He is still jealous of his sister, but his overall behavior, independence, and need for my attention has improved.
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