Thursday, April 12, 2007
I'm ready to sleep through the night!
Okay ladies-Quick question. What are your thoughts on getting your baby to sleep through the night? I have read Baby Wise and have tried to follow it, but our baby who is just over 5 months still wakes up a couple times a night. We put him down at about 9 and he wakes up around midnight and then again at 4. He is a healthy, big boy and I just know he doesn't need to eat, but he wakes up insisting that he is starving. I try not to let him sleep too much during the day which is what some have said may be the problem, but he is grumpy and takes a nap-usually in the morning, the early afternoon and early evening. What is your solution? Is there a perfect answer or do you think it just depends on the baby....?
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The book that I read that seriously solved my daughter's sleeping problem is called "Solve your child's sleep problem" by Richard Ferber. My nurse recommended it to me, and it was wonderful. It is completely normal (and advised) for children to take a morning and an afternoon nap, and the evening snooze they will drop when they are ready. Supposedly if you continually decrease the amount you allow him to eat during the night, then he will stop waking up hungry at those times. Hope this helps!
A lot depends on the child and on what the parent is willing to do. I have a sister in law who started letting her 7 week old cry it out and it worked for her. I was never willing to do that so it took my babies longer. I am horrible about letting my babies cry it out at night, but sometimes it actually does work if you just don't go and get them.
If there is one thing I can't stress enough it is that when it comes to kids THERE IS NEVER A PERFECT ANSWER that works for everyone. My first child slept through the night at three months and never looked back. My second child got up twice a night until he was over a year old, no matter what I did. Once I tried for two weeks, diligently, to just let him cry it out. It only served to make us all extremely tired and grumpy.
My opinion is, books can be helpful, but there is no rule that can be applied to every child. When it comes to kids, there is no "normal." You just have to do what works for your family. Good luck.
There IS a perfect answer....FERBER all the way baby!!! Let that baby cry....don't go in! My baby cried for 2 hours the first night, 2 hours the second, 20 minutes the third, and zero from then ON.....YYYYYYIPPPPPPEEEEEEEEEEEE....I AM FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
I'm with Kage on this one!
DANG! If only we didn't live in an apt. where there was somebody upstairs and downstairs-i think I might be able to try the cry thing. I just don't know if I can do that with the neighbors we have.
His bed time is much too late. That is a big part of the problem. He could probably sleep 12 hours by now (not that they all do).
Let me know if you want the sleep sense program. I have given it to so many people now and they all love it. Is he using a pacifier? That is also a big problem.
Eliminate that late nap and put him to bed awake at around 7 or 7:30! Does the trick.
If you want that ebook it is soo wonderful! look up Sleep Sense online and I'm sure you'll find info about it. Good luck!
Lindsey
PS, the sleep sense program is like Ferber it is just in my opinion better reasurance for the parents to understand why to let them cry.
My Baby was 7 months old when I started it and It was wonderful after ot payed off. It took Gabby 1 week to get it down.
We are still struggling with this issue at times with my daughter. I am reading the book Katie recommended, and I am also finding it really helpful. One thing that made a lot of sense to me was..if your baby relies on a sleep aid to fall asleep such as being rocked or eating, they will continue to "need" that in order to fall asleep. In other words, you're making it worse when you continue to feed him, because he is not learning to fall back asleep without being fed first. Babies all wake up at various times in the night, but most will fall back asleep as you or I do. But some babies, like yours (and mine) can't go back to sleep without their sleep aid. This book recommends starting with a small period of time, such as 10 min, and letting the baby cry. After ten minutes you go in and soothe the baby, but don't pick them up. You slowly increase the periods of time that you go in there, until after a few nights, they soothe themselves. With that said, I personally struggle with the whole crying it out thing because this is such a critical stage for building trust and babies cry in order to let you know their needs. However, I can usually tell the difference between a cry that will stop soon, and a hysterical cry that needs attention. Some nights she will put herself to sleep, and other nights she would scream for hours if we let her, (which I won't!) I'm not sure if that was helpful, but I hope so!
I kind of thing the "trust issue" is more an issue in the first month or so, but not so much anymore. I understand the fear of bothering the neighbors, but you're talking about building a sleep habit here which is one of the most important things for this baby right now and will carry through his childhood. Sometimes you just can't worry about what your neighbors are going to think. Let the baby cry it out and don't worry about the neighbors until they come knocking on your door. I let my baby cry it out even at 1 or 2 months and I asked my next-door neighbors in our apt. building if she was bothering them and they said they didn't even hear her.
I read Babywise, started it at 1 month and it worked well for me. We had a bit of a relapse with moving and illness, and she now usually wakes up at least once in the night, but I don't feed her at that time. It's still sleeping time. (By the way, do you make your nighttime feedings uninteresting, i.e. lights mostly out, little talking, no TV etc.?)
When you're not used to it, the crying thing rattles your soul! But it's true, it does become less and less and I think sometimes the hysterical crying wears them out so much that they sleep even longer. It's good to let that out! We all know what relief it is to cry! The "sleep prop" thing really resonated with me, too. Let the crying be the sleep prop and you will have freedom and more hubby time.
A consistent schedule and bedtime "system" has really benefitted us. We've gotten to the point where when it gets to be a certain time (around 7:30) we slow everything down and get Baby "I" in bedtime mode. We've followed the same schedule and it's worked wonders, I put him in his crib, he flips around onto his stomach and he's out until around 7:00 am.
That's not to say that's how it's always been. We've done the crying it out thing too. I apologized to the neighbors too, and they swear they didn't hear him either. They could have been fibbing though!From everything that I've read...I think that consistency is the key. Whatever works for you...do it. Just be consistent.
Well I have the motivation now to try to get this little guy sleeping! Are any of you free to come stay with us this weekend? :)
I'm not sure what everyone has already said so if this is a repeat I'm sorry. This technique came from a doctor who said at eleven or so pounds the baby should be content enough to go through the night. What he recommended was when your baby wakes up for that middle of the night feeding let him/her cry for 5 minutes then go get them and feed them. After three or four nights of this the baby should start sleeping through that feeding. I was skeptical and didn't think it would really work because you were still feeding them. However, it worked like a charm for me - I even did it twice because soon after I she slept through the night we went to my family's for thanksgiving and that messed her up again. I did the same thing when we got back and I think it may even took her less time. Maybe my baby was just ready to sleep through the night at that time, but nonetheless it worked for us. Good luck!!
Have you seen the book "The No-Cry Sleep Solution"?
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