Ok ladies, I need to vent. Let me just preface this post by saying that I love being home with my daughter. I usually am in tears when I have to go back to work after being off awhile, and despite what I am about to say..if I had my choice, I would stay home full-time. However, I have been struggling lately with the monotony of housework and every day tasks. I have found that unfortunately, my mood correlates pretty strongly with the condition that my house is in. So when it's in shambles (and it seems to be more often than not) I feel like ripping my hair out. Since my daughter is only 7 mos, and my husband has been working long hours, it's all up to me. I hate spending all day doing dishes, laundry, and just picking up clutter, only to do it all over again the next day! Don't get me wrong, I'm used to being busy, and having a thousand things on my to-do list. But I think that's the problem. I like checking things OFF the to-do list. So many nights, I lay in bed, and can't think of one single thing I accomplished besides the simple everyday tasks! (By the way, I'm talking about housework here, not caring for my daughter. If I could do anything, I'd just play with her all day and forget the house!) Anyway, last night I totally freaked out on my husband because he fell asleep on an unmade mattress instead of pulling the sheets out of the dryer and making the bed. Should he have helped? Yeah probably, but I also overreacted slightly. Anyway, maybe I just needed to vent. So thanks for listening. But I AM curious how you all find more of a sense of accomplishment in the sometimes drudgery that's a part of our everyday tasks!
p.s. Do you guys feel like this, or am I just a freak??? :)
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I feel like that all the time. And my mood definitely goes along with the way my house looks. I always feel so much better when my house is clean. It is so nice at the end of the day when the Living Room floor is free of toys. Of course by the time morning comes around and the boys get up the whole place is trashed again. I do not think that it is wrong for you to get upset with your husband. I know I would have done the same thing. Sometimes I feel that no body asks me to do the little things, so why should I have to ask them. We all understand that a lot of our husband go to work everyday, but you know what so do we. I don't know about you, but it is definitely nice to have a break sometimes.
Don't get me wrong, I have hit it big in the husband department. He is usually really great about helping out or letting me take a nap.
I have to completely agree with everything said! I've been trying lately to keep up on the dishes, and making the bed, and keeping the bathroom clean, you get the idea. I feel really great when the place looks nice, but in the evening (after all my work ALL DAY) the floor is littered with toys, there are dirty dishes on the counter and in the sink, clean AND dirty laundry on the floor, again you get the idea.
I guess the thing to remember is that our babies will eventually grow up and move out and then we'll probably miss all their little messes to clean up. So, enjoy what you can and keep plugging away!
You are so not alone in this! My favorite thing is the "what did you do today?" question that makes me feel that my day was even more pointless as I describe to him my tales of laundry and dishes woes! I cleaned my house this morning and now it's a mess again!
I don't have a perfect house and I definitely haven't figured out how to stay on top of things all the time. I try to do the basics everyday and spread out the bigger stuff. One thing that has helped me is to make sure I get out of the house almost everyday, somewhere, something. Usually it's just window shopping in the mall or walking around Target (I know that place like the back of my hand!) but it breaks up the monotony. Another thing is that when it's nap time, sometimes I catch up on housework but other times I sit and read or scrapbook or heaven forbid nap myself to make me feel like I'm taking care of myself.
Almost weekly my husband and I talk about how frustrated I am that the housework never gets done. I have found that as I began staying at home with my two little ones I never felt I accomplished anything. I would barely finish the laundry and there would be a new stack. I pondered for a while how I could feel a sense of accomplishment and decided to try planting a spice garden, doing crafts, and other little projects once in a while. Everytime I walk by something I made I get to feel like I was able to get something done, because we all know that raising our children and doing housework is never done.
I'd have to agree with everyone. House work NEVER NEVER ends. It took a while, but I was able to finally get myself to understand that "dirty" and "cluttery" are two different things.
I can usually keep myself sane if I keep up on the dirty stuff more than the cluttery stuff. It's just not practical for me to put my 4 month old's away every time I get them out because I use it all day long. But I can take an extra few seconds to rinse out a bottle before putting it in the sink, or put dirty laundry straight into the washer so that when it's full I can start it right away.
As far as husband's...they might be cute as a bug's ear, but they have a hard time seeing what needs to be done. It's just part of the Y-chromosome I think.
I absolutely LOVE Chantel's advice! And I remember when liz&meg told me that a Relief Society teacher once said that she tried to do something "permanent" every day--like reading something, scrapbooking, family history, etc.--anything that can't be undone. By the way, my husband TOTALLY would fall asleep on an unmade mattress (and I think he has). I believe he saw my head spin at that point as well! ;)
Thanks guys! It helps so much just to know there are other people in the same boat, feeling the same way. I really like the advice to try and do something permanent every day! Great idea! My husband and I are also going to try something new...we're going to take 15 min or so every night after the baby goes to sleep and just straighten up the house together-load the dishwasher, put away toys, pick clothes off the floor, etc. That way I can wake up to a tidy house, and thus a fresh start, every morning. We'll see how it works! (Since my hubby has a tendency to pass out BEFORE the baby usually, I have my doubts!)
That's a great idea, Stephanie! Since my little guy is older we sing the "Clean Up" song and pick up all of his toys before bathtime. I don't think the little guy has caught on yet, but at least it's not a disaster when I get up!
I've been gone all weekend and I missed Sugar and Spice! Stephanie, that's a great idea plust it's hubby-time.
Just want to add to all the great stuff that has been said: I think it's good to communicate with your husband if you think there might be an opportunity for him to help out. Sometimes they just don't know that we feel overwhelmed by it and are definitely willing to help if they know. We had a conversation before I left town and when I came home, the entire house had been cleaned, even the shower had been scrubbed and one of our bathrooms was painted!
I also wanted to say that listening to some of your favorite music while you clean helps. It just pumps you up and you can dance while you scrub.
I think it's okay to let things go sometimes, it's too stressful to make things perfect ya know? Sometimes I have a day where I just do a ton of stuff so that the next day I can just chill a bit more.
And like Liz, I definitely have found it nice to get out once per day at least.
Love what everyone said!
Okay, Linz, i'm totally impressed with NTG! I don't think any painting would go on anytime I'd leave!
I am so glad to know I am not the only one who has felt all these emotions. All I can say is I can't wait for the day when Collin and future children are old enough to help clean. I am going to put them to work!!
One thing I'd like to add is that praying helps, even though it may sound like housework is such a small (maybe even vain) thing to pray for. On the days that I pray for help in getting housework done I find myself with more motivation and desire and I feel like I accomplish things to my satisfaction. Days when I forget to pray (which happens more than I would like to admit) are usually days when I feel inadequate or lazy.
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