Saturday, May 12, 2007

Venting

My baby is 8 months old and not crawling. Actually from something I saw last night, I think she may have it by the end of next week. This is not a post about crawling, it's a post about a mom who is getting tired of conversations like this:

"So is she crawling yet?"
"No, not yet."
"How old is she?"
"8 months old."
"Oh." (surprised look)

I've come to a place where I try to ignore these encounters, but as you can tell I'm not completely over it otherwise I wouldn't be writing a post about it. I feel strongly that children develop at different times in different ways, and it truly does not worry me that she is not crawling yet. I just get really annoyed sometimes with the judgmental comparisons! I have no problem with the conversation above, it's the surprised look that annoys me! I've got to get over this because I know it will get worse, but I just wanted to vent! Another example: I know that I have friends and family members who couldn't nurse, and they felt the same way when people asked them about not breastfeeding. Good thing motherhood is worth the rudeness from others!
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11 comments:

Liz said...

I just wrote an identical post on my blog about M not walking yet!!!! I'm so sick of "the look!" It doesn't bother me that she's not walking, it's how people look surprised and worried that she's not! Mind your own business! It happens to be that her parents were both late walkers and she's a big talker so it's not that surprising that she's not walking!

Good for you for having the perspective to realize that everyone does things in their own time and each child is an individual!

May 12, 2007 at 1:07 PM
Aubreydoll said...

I totally agree. My almost 20-month old still likes to use his binky and he took a bottle until a few months ago. For the longest time he refused to drink milk from a sippy even though he would drink juice or water in it. I didn't have a problem with it because I knew when he was ready he would give up the bottle. (This is the same little guy who weaned himself from nursing in one day!)
When I took him in for his 18 month check the young nurse who was asking us some questions when we first got in there got an attitude with me when I said that he still used a bottle once in the morning and once at night! Obviously she did not have children and did not understand that raising them isn't by the book!

Anyway, those people that make comments about babies not crawling or walking yet are crazy! Once those little ones are on the move they never stop and these people are not the ones having to chase them around.

May 12, 2007 at 1:28 PM
Amanda said...

People are rude, aren't they...

You all are right - babies will develop at their own pace. I guess it matters to some people with little babies - but by the time these same babies are 5, 10, 15 years old... no one cares about when they could walk, when they took a sippy cup, etc.

May 12, 2007 at 1:45 PM
Tiffany said...

I hung out with my friends last night and their baby was crawling all over the place and it made me realize that I don't want Megan to learn to crawl ever...well..not for awhile at least. :)

I haven't really had to deal with people asking me questions like that because my baby is only 3 months...BUT...I hate when you're overdue and you go to church and people are like, "oh...you're still here, huh?" and give you a look like its your fault that you haven't had your baby yet! Hello! Of COURSE you want to have the baby! I may have asked that question before..and now that I've lived through it, I have vowed that I never will again. I will just say, "My condolences that you're still pregnant." Someone said that to me and it made me laugh. :)

May 12, 2007 at 2:39 PM
Chantel said...

Sorry about the comments. I feel for you. McKayla didn't walk until she was 15 months, but was almost in 3T. She looked like a huge toddler going around the church halls sticking her bottom up in the air because she couldn't crawl with a dress on. I not only got the why isn't she walking from everyone, including my father-in-law, but the why doesn't she talk and act like the 3 year olds they knew, duh because she was only 15 months old. I learned to be okay with her being treated like she was older, mainly because I am to blame for the tall genes. People will say stupid things no matter what the situation. Ignore the rude comments and remember every time someone came up to you and told you how wonderful and cute your little one is. If you let someone else determine how you feel about your child or their development, your child will notice and put to much stock into what other's think about them. Not an easy thing to do, but so worth it in the long run.

May 12, 2007 at 4:27 PM
Liz said...

Chantel, I LOVE your comment at the end,

"If you let someone else determine how you feel about your child or their development, your child will notice and put to much stock into what other's think about them. Not an easy thing to do, but so worth it in the long run."

That is such a good point!

May 12, 2007 at 6:33 PM
Kage said...

My babes didn't crawl until 9 months. My DH didn't walk until 18 months...and they all seem to be turning out well...

May 12, 2007 at 7:45 PM
Linz said...

Okay, loved every single comment. Tiffany, your pregnancy comments made me laugh because I totally remember that! Yes I am huge and yes I am still pregnant!

Thanks for all of the comments ladies.

May 12, 2007 at 9:51 PM
Natalie said...

Isn't it funny how tactless some people are? I get tired of people saying how big my 6 month old is! I just remind people when they say something about his chubby rolls...that it's a good thing he can't talk or he might say something about their extra skin. And that isn't cute, like it is on him :)

May 13, 2007 at 12:35 PM
Natalie said...

okay, just kidding, I don't say that, but I would like to to some that question if I am feeding him too much.

May 13, 2007 at 12:35 PM
Linz said...

That is hilarious Natalie. A couple of weeks ago a woman I've never met said something like, "She looks like she's big enough to carry you ." My hubby didn't like that.

May 14, 2007 at 8:47 AM

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