Friday, March 9, 2007

No, no, no...

So, I've been noticing lately that I've become one of those mom's that I promised myself I would never be. A normal day's communication with Baby "I" is filled with, "No, don't touch"... "Please don't put that in your mouth"..."Get away from there"..."Let's not do that"..."Let go of mommy's hair!" I find that I'm using the words, "No...Don't... Stop..." WAY more than I want to. I was going to be a mom who teaches by example and shows constant praise so that his first words aren't, "No!"
How do you do it? I know it's necessary to use those words occasionally, I competely get that. I just want to be more positive than negative. How do you do it?
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5 comments:

kristi said...

Unfortunetly, it is easier said then done. However, I wouldn't worry about your childs first word being NO just because you tell him no. I can honestly say that between my 3 boys the word no is said a lot and none of them has said no first. Actually the word no has never been a problem with any of my babies. The problem with using long explanation as to why your child shouldn't do something is that it will go right over their head. They are not going to understand or more likely they will not care to pay attention long enough to hear your explanation. I am sure you are doing just fine and I know your little 'I" will grow into a wonderful young man.

March 9, 2007 at 4:38 PM
Rural Dee said...

This is a good question, I'm glad you brought it up. I don't really know the answer because my baby is still too young to need "No"s yet. But I really like what Kristi said. I guess we can't forget that even if "No"s are negative they are still important so babies know their boundaries and so they are safe.

March 10, 2007 at 9:09 AM
Liz said...

I was actually talking to a coworker/girlfriend about this yesterday! And we talked about an article that said because "no" is necessary, we need to follow up with lots of praise (i think it said 2:1 ratio of positive to negative comments) but it also talked about being specific about praise, not just "you're so pretty" (I'm sooooo guilty of this one!) but "I like the way you asked nicely", stuff like that because we were also talking about kids who grow up who are rather egocentric (I'm probably raising one of those right now!)

When my little one started crawling and getting into more stuff I felt like I spent a week just scolding her because she was "exploring" new and scary stuff that I hadn't baby proofed yet! But that's gotten better as she's learned the places to stay away from...somewhat. She still goes after this one lamp cord just for attention, i swear!

March 10, 2007 at 1:58 PM
Stephanie said...

My roommate in college majored in early childhood development. I used to tease her for how many steps there were to discipline, like using the explanations, stating what they were doing wrong, why it was wrong, etc. I think it's a little extreme and unrealistic to use every step on a regular basis in your home. However, I liked some aspects of it. One was to offer an alternative, instead of just saying no. Like, if they are getting into something, offer them something else to do instead. And even though it's a little redundant, I'm sure it is important to explain why they can't do something, have something, etc. Maybe I'll have more advice to offer when I cross this bridge!!!

March 10, 2007 at 5:42 PM
Joni said...

Very young children have to hear the word no. It doesn't scar them or anything. They know you love them. When they are tiny and always into stuff, no is very important.

March 10, 2007 at 8:20 PM

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