Wednesday, February 7, 2007
The Fear of Being Alone....
Help!!! My 4 mos. old daughter has entered the delightful stage of screaming anytime she can't see someone, and thinks she's alone. I'm not sure how or why it started. I know she may be more used to getting attention than a baby with other siblings, however I've always made sure she has plenty of floortime, playtime, etc. So why all of a sudden does she think I have to be next to her all of the time???? I know this is similar to the question about stranger anxiety, but it's kind of different. This is more of an issue of I CAN'T GET ANYTHING DONE!!! I would welcome any thoughts or advice on this issue!
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5 comments:
I understand completely! Mine did that at about 11 months when we went on vacation during Christmas. she was so insecure or something after that that if I walked down the hall, she'd scream like I was going to jump out the window and never come back! It's a little better now, but it took time. I would talk to her as I was walking away to let her know I was still there. Since she can crawl, I'd also walk slow enough sometimes so she could follow me. When she was younger, I'd carry her in the bjorn and just get things done that way.
Is she still scared when she hears your voice? If you continue to talk to her from the other room does she still cry? This is a hard one because how do you tell a 4 month old that she is not really alone? You can see how she reacts if you keep poking your head into the room. I am sorry that I am not of much help. I do not remember what I did when my boys where that age and afraid like that. My youngest still gets upset sometimes when I leave the room, but luckily he is old enough that he will just come and find me.
Good question, Steph. I'm experiencing a bit of this myself. She doesn't mind if I leave the room depending on what activity, but I am noticing more and more she is looking around for me. I wish I could give advice but hopefully more people will give some!
Umm, sometimes babies just have to cry a little.
I don't mean to sound insensitive, but I remember when my first was a baby and I felt like I couldn't get anything done. Then I had my second and realized that if I was ever going to get anything done, it was okay if my baby cried for a minute while I left the room. And he was fine.
Let me tell ya, it is the age. My third is a little over four months now and she recently started getting upset when I put her in the swing or entertainer and walk away. She has the older two and the there was a time where she was content to sit back and observe them, but not so much anymore. She also has a really hard time with my husband's brother, whom she sees on a regular basis. I think the biggest thing I've learned is not to rush to their "rescue". I walk away let her cry go back a few minutes later talk to her, get her calm then walk away again, but of course if she is just screaming like there's no tomorrow, well that's another story. As far as "strangers" are concerned I try not to let my baby see me when she's being held by someone else if that person is patient enough to hold her as she cries, then eventually she calms down. It's been the same for all my kids.
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