Hey S&S girls!
Does anyone have any tips about helping your babies with stranger anxiety? Little v is 5 months old and it is just starting. Someone else will hold her and she'll be silent for a few momenets, get a scared look, and gradually start a cry. I know it is our fault. We have pretty much been the sole "holders" since birth. We have not lived near any family and she has not been held by many others. She is kind of a spit-up queen so that is one of the reasons why I have hesitated to have others hold her (especially in their Sunday best at church).
We visited my family in Chicago for Turkey Day and Christmas. NTG and I went to the movies during each holiday weekend and left her with my Mom but that is the only time she has been left. So, yes, it is our fault, but now I'm wishing that she would feel more comfortable when held by others. If we are holding her, she will give a big smile to any stranger.
Now I'm getting closer to the point where I feel I would hire a babysitter or leave her with a future friend in Texas, but what will happen?! Will she be scared out of her wits? I'm not sure I could even relax on a date with NTG if I was worried about these things. Any tips on stranger anxiety??
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7 comments:
First of all, It is not your fault!! Logan is really my only baby that has mainly preferred mom, but that was only until I stopped nursing him. Of course by then he was one and more comfortable with other people. One thing I try to do is not make a big deal if the baby starts crying. I try to let them know that they are ok while the other person is holding them. Reassure her that she is ok. I would not take her back immediately. If you take her back the second she cries, she won't know that it is ok that this other person is holding her. Another thing is to definitely start letting other people (who you feel comfortable with) hold her. Especially if that doesn't happen very often.
I wouldn't worry to much about leaving her with friends or a babysitter. From my experience, even if she cries at first after a few minutes she will probably be fine.
If you want to try and make her not be afraid of other people, you really should let other people hold her. Don't worry about her spitting up, people understand that it happens sometimes when you are holding a sweet baby :) If you are worried, I have a lot of friends who hand off their baby and the burp cloth.
I hope that I was of help. Good luck :)
I left Baby "I" with some friends the other night while I was at the temple. We had them come to our house so that he was in his comfort zone, plus all of his toys are here. I made sure to put him in her arms within seconds of her arriving so that he got comfortable with her. Then I hurried and gave instruction and left. She said he was an angel, I'm not sure if that was the absolute truth, but he didn't have any problems before I left. Those are just some of tips from a mother with just a teeny bit of experience. I'm not sure it's the perfect way to go.
How are you blogging on the road?????? :) I have noticed a strong connection between my anxiety and Megan's behavior. If i'm okay with it, she's more okay with it. If she reads into your anxiety over letting others hold her, she'll be anxious too. If you're encouraging her that it's okay for others to hold her, she'll feel more okay with it. That's how it worked for Meggie.
This is awesome advice, everyone. Thank you soooo much.
And Liz...Nate has his laptop so I can go on at night. It's fun. Plus...for the last part of our drive today it really came in handy because I set this laptop up on Vi's lap and let her watch Baby Einstein. It worked really well.
liz and meg is right.
And kristi is really nice, but this kristy thinks it's a little your fault...you have to expose your kids to other peops, that is how they learn how to comfort themselves.
When you leave her with a sitter (when you haven't much at all to this point), of course she will cry. I usually just say to my kids: "You can do this...be brave," and give them a kiss and hug. They will TOTALLY get over it in like 5 minutes...and it will get shorter and shorter the more you leave them.
The other thing that helps me get over worry/guilt is I say to myself: Do I remember being 5 months old? NO.
Linz always asks questions that I totally benefit from...maybe because our daughters are only a month apart! Anyway, thanks for the great suggestions. I too am guilty of not leaving my daughter much, so I learned some good tips! I've been feeling lately that Mitch and I are in need of a date night, so this just reaffirmed it! It's time.....
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