Tuesday, February 6, 2007

Stress!!!!

So, it's been one of those weeks in my household! It seems like everything that could possibly go wrong has....until an hour later when something else goes wrong! I was at a meeting at work this morning, thinking about my ride to work in my husband's truck with a broken thermostat (did I mention it's approx -20 degrees in Michigan???) and wondering why things haven't gotten better. And then I rode in the elevator and helped a stranger find where he was going after another nurse was rude to him. I realized I was nicer to a complete stranger than I have been to my own husband. Then the thought occurred to me that maybe I haven't learned my lesson yet. Maybe I need to learn to handle stress and trials a little better, before Heavenly Father is going to lift my burden. So.......what do you guys do to overcome extreme stress, and avoid being complete bears to those you love??????
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8 comments:

kristi said...

I think I have the same problem sometimes. I don't really know how to handle stress without being a complete jerk to my husband. So, like Stephanie I am definitely up to any suggestions.

February 6, 2007 at 12:52 PM
katie said...

I, too, could use some advice on this subject. One thing that I have found that helps is to play sunday music. Somehow it always makes my problems feel a little less heavy and helps me be a little nicer to my family.

February 6, 2007 at 12:57 PM
stacibee said...

I've made a commitment this year to attend the temple with my husband at least once a month. I love that I get to see him in a new light every time I look at him there. I appreciate the reminder of the covenants that we've made to each other. It humbles me and reminds me that we're in this for good. I also get the perspective that I need...it's not okay to treat the checker at the grocery store better than my very cute hubby!

February 6, 2007 at 1:15 PM
Linz said...

I am no expert, and today, I too, let out some frustration on my husband. Our poor hubbies! When I get stressed out by like financial stress (like car repairs or health expenses that come up), I try to think about all of the things that possibly could have happened to our family but that haven't because we pay our tithing and stuff. Does that make sense? Like, yes, I have to get my car repaired, but at least something worse/more expensive has not happened. It's easy to think about the blessings Heavenly Father gives us that we can see, but I often don't think of the things that maybe He has prevented from happening because we try to be obedient.

And as far as the hubby thing goes, I think the tone of your voice and the time you take to think before speaking totally helps. We are far from perfect, but even when my hubby and I are "discussing" some kind of issue, we don't raise our voices and we really listen to each other. The height of the voice causes defensiveness, ya know! When we talk to each other as calmly as possible, I always find myself realizing that I didn't take into consideration something from his perspective. If I know I want to bring something up, I try to really think it through first because it always stinks when you say something that you shouldn't or say something that you truly don't mean (by letting emotions take over). I would love to hear other thoughts becuase the issue of stress is always a work in progress!

February 6, 2007 at 1:17 PM
kristi said...

I really like what you said about voice levels linz. Because I think that it is so true, that voice levels can complete change a conversation and take it out of hand. Thank you for reminding me about that.

February 6, 2007 at 2:02 PM
Amanda said...

This is a tough one. Even with a coping strategy, it is hard to remember whatever your strategy is in the heat of the moment.

Sounds nerdy, but every couple days I try to think of my husband as my sweetheart. I think of things that I love about him, and try to remember the charms he used to court me. He has the funniest laugh when he thinks he is so clever. He sang to me to ask me to marry him (let's just say he doesn't even sing at church). He does so many things for me just to be nice and show he loves me. If I keep these things in the back of my mind, it seems to help. It has worked pretty well at preventing feeling frustrated.

I am probably making you all sick by now. This is not my daily reality - just what I try to do to keep a good perspective!

When the frustration/irritation does come, I just keep quiet and let it pass. I'll find something that makes me look really busy or do chores that he knows I'll ask for help with so he'll give me space. Sometimes I just need time to think about the problem to decide if it is a "me" problem or an "us" or "him" problem. When it is a "me" problem I figure it is better to not say anything and get over it internally than have to apologize and/or explain why I said something I really didn't mean!

February 6, 2007 at 3:38 PM
Liz said...

I so needed this today!!! I really appreciate the comment about a me vs. him vs. us problem! I've had a couple of rough days and after blaming him for everything I realized that I was feeling so cooped up from all this below zero weather (that I don't want to take my baby out in) that everything seemed awful no matter what!

February 6, 2007 at 6:56 PM
Liz said...

Anyone for "Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good Very Bad Day?" :)

February 6, 2007 at 6:57 PM

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